The BEST FRIEND Ever…

Nearly 5 years of friendship…never in my weirdest dreams I thought I could ever miss u so much…coz u were always some houses away..but now that i realise...this one goes to my bestest friend ever MAMTA…
We met in school,dunno just clicked so easily n today we are the best of friends..i am so thankful to god that I joined this school n was I guess destined to meet you…even today when I think of the best times we spent in school,never would have felt so lucky to have you as a very good friend cause its now when I realize that apart from my family,you are the one I miss very much…
Whenever it comes to something I want to talk to,something I want to share with,some help I require…the first person I remember is U…and that’s when I feel so empty and wish you were here to bring the same old past times again…I remember all the stupid things(yes I call them stupid today,we were just 15…hehe!)and even today when I meet you…I realize u havent changed a bit ,and that’s really good for the thing that YOU WERE PERFECT,AND YOU ARE PERFECT…and thanks for being the same..have realized today that you are an important part of my life when you are not around…and even you know…whenever I come back to Mumbai…I just run to meet you to tell you about all the stuff that happened,to laugh on,to cry on, just everything…
So today decided to write down that thanks for being with me through thick n thin…and I promise to be there forever wherever we go…i dunno if u will ever read this,but when u do...m sure there will be a cute curve on ur face... i await.:)

The best of friends,Can change a frown,Into a smile,when you feel down.

The best of friends,Will understand,Your little trials,And lend a hand.

The best of friends,Will always share,Your secret dreams,Because they care.

The best of friends,Worth more than gold,Give all the love,A heart can hold.

Nothing could have been better and nothing could have been more worse...sometimes we get the best and the worst together.I cant decide whether to thankk for the good or just repent for the bad..

Life's in a jeopardy..

chasing dreams,but at the same time asking for the old times...

Missing the old friends ,but at the same time adding the new ones into your lives...

Having a sweet home back there,but at the same time trying to find a home away from home here...

Eyes filled with nostalgia, but at the same time glittery eyes laughing with friends...

WHY does life come in mixtures?
I am the most confused right now...cant decide if i am happy or a bit aloof...a bit sad or just ok with everything...

but i atleast know...i am living the present really well...

A beautiful thought i came across....

Here's what i read on one of the benches while dozing off in college....(surely that helps sometimes;)

Give me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change,
The knowledge to change the things i can,
And the wisdom to know the difference:)

Well,it might sound something simple and just scribbled...but yeah it did taught me somethign in my heart somewhere which cant be expressed...someway or the other enlighteneing...
It did keep me wondering for quite a good time about it...so wanted to share it with u guys:)

A START OF SOMETHING NEW...

Its a totally different life for me since two weeks...i have been shifted to pune for my new college...and really missing mumbai like hell...well a totally different life to say...but still something makes me like it...dunno what it is..and yes..have been enjoying too...whoa!lifes taken a 360 degree turn...nothing like before...me away from home..always thinking that wish geography changes itself for these 4 and half years for me...and home comes to be near...wishing to be with my friends and family and most importantly my sweetheart sis...
Though its making me homesick each day..its making me realise to be independent...making me strong and responsible every minute...making me realise life was so easy back home...and its so important to know to survive in the outside world...making friends,studying hard to make my and my parents dream come true of becoming a doctor..each day comes with a challenge and making me ready to face it with all the enthusiasm filled in...aah!just wishing for a holiday to go back home to my old life...knowing the new people there...my fellow classmates who are going thorugh the same as me...i just look around to see the students who have been here before me...and thus giving me strength to survive...to live on my dream...and realising with every passing minute that yes,i am getting nearer to what i wanted and there's no gain without pain....have found a home away from home...ofcourse not with the same comfort as my home is here where my loved ones live...but yes,cudnt have asked for a better place and a better life...
The struggle,the homesickness,the yearning to go home will pay off someday...the hard work will bring back some good...thats what is i keep in mind and live life there...really miss everyone and everything here...most importantly...my peaceful home...my family....the time we spent together...the way we laughed on jokes...the free time i totally spent orkutting...blogging...reading...and everything thats not in my schedule now...whenever i get to come home...the feeling is incredible...brings smiles on my face...with eagerness to see my home again...with a joy to take my sweetheart sis in my arms again...with happiness to see my mom and dad again...with a hope to see my friends again...
Just wish everyday that the time just flies by...with my goal fullfilled and see me heading back to home with a new person in myself...who will be more responsible,more qualified,more matured but still the same girl who came here with dreams..i welcome my new life with happiness and eyes filled with dreams and aspirations...and a thought which i am gradually learning........
BE ANGRY WITH THE FIRE OF HELL,
LAUGH LIKE A TODDLER IN THE MUD,
AND LIVE LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW

Mommy's girl!!

Well,as for now i have written about my sis,my dad,and after my blogs been read by my mother,she asked me.."y havent u written about me yet?"and the only reason floating in my mind was..."well the word MOTHER has got so many dimensions to it,that i feel incapable of putting it into words"

And isnt it true???Yeah,it is not easy to directly write what u feel about your mother,and may be the case is true for every one of us,isnt it?the most complex,the most beautiful,the BESTand even u can call it the most confusing relation of all..is with the mother...for every one as a child,as a growing adolescent or even after being a mature person all over,people do find it difficult to even express their equations with their mummies...and same is with me... The world seems to start and end at this word MOTHER...and for me...the case is not different...just saying that I LOVE HER will be an understatement,coz its more than love between us,i just look like her,i just AM like her,we have similar tastes,still she is the person whom i have most of the fights at home...and why not...where expectations are more,you tend to fight more...and who else should i expect more from?and who else will she find to expect more from?

Well,but for one reason that makes my mummy more special to me would be that fact that she has been by my side when i committed some drastic mistakes of choosing a career,though today just because of her i am on the right track,i discovered what i wanted to be,what was i good at,and what was my capability,i would have never realised all this if it wasnt for her,if she hadnt given me a chance to prove myself,maybe today i would have ended up doing what i hated the most..and thats why i love her the most,thats where i think may be if it was someone else in her place,then may be i would have been a looser for life,she gave me strength,shegave me confidence to believe in myself and AIM and ACHIEVE what i aimed for...and i just did that..and would take help of this blog to convey my feelings to her...yes..i am a mommy's girl completely,and will be forever....

Today she's the one i look upto for advise,coz i know thats the place where i will be guided correctly,and the fact that we are just so similar in many aspects,makes me feel more lucky,she remains strong even in the deadliest of situations,has great faith in god,firm in opinions,great determination to do something,awesome at multitasking,the backbone of our family,just in short..THE GREATEST MUM!

And well,i did try to expres what i feel for her,though the blog seems to be incomplete,coz there are so many things that i feel for her,but cant be put into words here,may be they are too complex,that even words arent available,it just leaves me speechless...but deep in my heart,i would say that wish there was some word better to express the way i lover her,coz yes I LOVE HER IS an understatement.....

For my sweetheart....

This blog is totally dedicated for my darling,my sweet heart baby...my sister simu...even if she's too small to read n feel what i have written for her...i would just like to put my thoughts about her into my blog,which looked empty without her...Every one loves his or her brother sister,it just comes naturally...but its something which differs from every person to person...the love they have for their siblings...and in my case...its different too,our age gap of almost a decade,makes us share something different,something more unique and genuine...a motherly feeling comes from me to her,even when we fight like sisters sometimes too...

14th august,1998...the best day in my life when i was tagged "didu"...i got the most beautiful feeling being elderly to someone...holding a tiny sweetheart,a dollface in my hands...which will remain a dollface for me till the end...even if she grows taller to me,more refined in some years..she will still be my baby..i named her too...and thats how our love started to grow every second,every minute and every day...and will keep growing..

As i feel lucky to have her,she feels lucky to have me too,always tells me "didi,no one in my class has a sister like u" and everytime making me melt into her angelic eyes,her beautiful face..i have seen her grow,i have seen her become more naughty,even making me a scape goat many times...no wait...almost all the times,making mistakes and me covering her up too a lot many times,even ending up fighting and then sometime later holding each other in arms,smiling,looking into her innocent face and then seeing my childhood through her eyes,going together on some sprees and sharing secrets which only both of us know,teasing her sometimes,enjoying having chocolates and junk food with her,taking her studies and me ending up shouting and she crying but still later back to loving each other,standing up to her sometimes when she's irritated,writing with a left hand,trying to resemble her handwriting when she's not done with her homework, annoying me with her stupid cartoons which makes me watch them too,laughing on some stupid jokes till we cramp our stomachs,fighting on watching tv,as u can imagine what an 18 year old and an 8 year old would have in common??but that makes me fall for her everytime,making both of us love each other soo much,even something very special than a mother-daughter realationship,its something so unique,a feeling so strange that cant be put into words,but people who know me well have known me going gaga over my simu always,dunno how,but she gets into every topic just as if she's a part of me,as if she's just me of age 8,she's the one who's made me more childish,made me love her disney movies,and i have made her like my kind of stuff,so we both have a give and take relationship,growing with each other,making it beautiful

My world seems to start at her,end at her...even hers too,but still giving each other that space needed to become individualls,i used to wonder why dont i have a sister who is atleast nearer to my age,but then when i come across being with her,i feel special to have experienced motherhood so speacial ,so early...and i will treasure this feeling for years to come..and will keep loving her as the way i do today,even after 8 years of being with her..

I cant find a reason why life introduced you to me,but how did life know its U who i needed the most??I love u sweetheart...and didi will always be there for u whenever u need her..

Pain still lasts...n always will...

The pain still lasts,and always will....

It was a very usual day for me..morning college n then coming back n having a gr8 sleep..n not even bothering to look at the books....But by evening i realised that that day could have been the worst day of my life forever...It was 11th july 2006..a black day in the history of Mumbai...but indeed the darkest day of my life

The clock showed 6.30 pm..i called up dad as i usually used to to ask what do i make for you when u come back home to eat...the voice said.."u both eat..i will take time..will b back in an hour,right now in dadar"...and just about to finish this sentence...i heard..."BOOM"..As anyone could have thought in a simple way..."shayad the cellphone dropped down"..and i hung up..didnt pay heed to that voice that time

It was 7'o clock...mom called up from her office..."hey put on the tv..there's some serious problem..there have been serial blasts n...keep me updated..do u know anything about dad?did he call up ?"...and i knew then n there..the voice i didnt pay heed to..the voice that i believed would have been due to cellphone being dropped down...was nothing but the dreadful sound of a blast that may have killed my dad...i was repeating in my mind..."IT MAY HAVE,ITS NOT NECESSARY THAT IT COULD BE REALLY THE SAME THING THAT I WAS HOPING NOT TO BELIEVE"...but then i recollected the words my dad spoke.."right now in dadar"..and the earth below me just took a high...my heart just sank...i could do nothing but HOPE,that nothing could have been wrong,but he said he was in dadar..what if...????I was totally on phone for the next few hours..just HOPING n PRAYING n infinite number of times, tears rolling down my cheeks..with just an 8 year old sister at home with me..i could do nothing else...His phone wasnt reachable..my heart thumping with horror everytime i dialled his number..just wishing he was safe..n no one else recieved the call to give me any kind of a news..but just wanted to hear him once saying he is safe....

It was 9.30pm now,still i was shivering with no news with me..of my dad,of my mom..but was more worried for my dad coz I HEARD THAT DREADFUL SOUND WHEN THAT THING HAPPENED..9.45 pm..i saw the watch..still filled with fear..i heard my phone ringing..with some fear ,with some wish n loads of prayers..i recieved it.."yes,...ya...".The person on the other end was an NGO speaking.. "i am speaking from the Sion hospital,is this someone related to Vijay amin?...ya...ok so you are his daughter..please send someone here soon..ur dad is severely injured..he is serious.."i heard nothing but the word SERIOUS...and with a stone gulping sensation and my hand shivering so badly that i could even stand...i called up my mom..said her to go there with a heavy heart...but i couldn't just say that word..SERIOUS...After that communication,i was kept waiting for three days with just my small sister at home..no mom,no dad,neighbours being crowding at home to take care of us but with a bit of news from mom that dad is NOT serious

I would have cried n asked, prayed to GOD dont know how many times by that time,but with a satisfaction of he being safe,i had a sensation of well being after those dreadful 3 hrs...and smiled after a long time,feeling as it had been years of me smiling the last time...

No one can imagine the ordeal we went through,the ordeal we are going through,but as a family it has made us stronger and more bound together...

Today he's well,better than before,but still we as a family cant wash off those memories off our minds....but i feel thankful to god for giving him a second life...n today its been a year n want to say thank u god,for keeping us together, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD,I LOVE YOU

Some old memories..

Yesterday...by some work..i had to go to bhayander...the place from where i shifted nearly 6-7 years ago,the place where i spent my childhood...the place from where the real ME came out of myself..
A good noon spent there brought back all the old,sweet memories of me being grown up,between some people,some neighbours who became an inevitable part of my life...which i realised later...aftermoving out from that place.Finishing my work there...which was the main reason that took me there after a good long gap of i guess 2-3 years..i decided to just stroll around that place and also go to see my old school in which i studied for 9 years,just getting nostalgic and trying to refresh my school memories as a small girl,i neared my school...expecting to see everything changed ,i headed to the school gate...and was quite surprised to see one of my new school teachers there,trying to guard the tiny tots,whose school hours were over and were about to be picked by their parents,i decided to go and have a talk with her,she was surprised seeing me,and i was surprised to know that she hadnt at all forgotten me all these years,me being the first girl ever in her dance troupe who took away her job of choreographing and taught 70 girls at large to dance..and relieving her off her busy schedule in those school days...she was indeed happy to see me,as i was..and wehugging when i parted,said me that she didnt find any one after i left school as me who could make the school windance competions,i was truely obliged ofcourse...
After getting back the most eager thing i wanted to do was to even go around the place where i stayed for soo long..so moving around there...with an obvious thought that no one would even recognise me after all these years..asi was walking by,i saw a smile,across the lane,of a shopkeeper...he was the same one from whom i used to buy chocolates in my toddlerdays,greeting him with a same warming smile..i moved on...cause of some reason..i am not sure of....
This stroll got me back all my memories,all the games me n my friends used to play,coming back late at night after playing,the way my mom used to keep me out threatening to not to take me home if i came late,the way i skipped meals to be with my friends,me being called a scholar just for the reason that i used to play 24/7but still managed to get into top ranks(i am still wondering how?and why not now?),walking in muddy rainy lanes just for the sake of fun,celebrating festivals there,always being the scape goat in some or the other ways,always being the "referee" when my friends used to fight and make up two gangs.... There are many reasons to feel nostalgic about that decade i spent there,and all the memories,good or bad will be always treasured by me... realising the the biggest chunk of my life,spent there with nothing less than FUN ,a very good childhood,i left back to my home with a heavy heart..and heavy eyes to add up to my nostalgia..

Do u really understand it?

Do u really understand what it means?????

Really no offense to the painters who paint abstract paintings ..but really want to know that do people understand what's behind this art??? whats behind the word "ABSTRACT" to understand?
I sometimes look into myself and ask that "is it just you or is it with everyone that i cant understand whats behind these paintings."

The whole idea,the whole minuscle meaning to the art is unknown by me n will always be...

Still wondering how people buy such things for crores n crores of rupees(rather read as any currency)......

?????

me...

I'm not a perfect girl..

my hair doesnt always stay in place and

i spill things a lot.I am pretty clumsy and

sometimes i have a broken heart

My friends and I sometimes fight and

may be some days nothing goes right

But when i think about it and take a step back

I remember how amazing life truely is

and that may be,just may be

I LIKE BEING IMPERFECT

Thank you

just inspired by my new friends i found on ORKUT..winna n roopam n also after reading meiyang's blogs..i thought to add my string of thoughts too..just like the string of thoughts given and added into a pensieve by Dumbledore in Harry potter..(now u must b wondering why mention him???coz i am a Harry potter fan..lol)
So wud want to make thig blog my pensieve too....
do read..enjoy..n also let me tell u...its nothing of some hi-fi words..(which even i wud not know:P)here to add into my blog...just simple thoughts i wud want to share